COPS QUESTION WITNESS IN CENSUS MURDER

Here's another scoop from your favorite blogger.

Mentally retarded man thought he was being helpful

Nearly a month after census worker Bill Sparkman was found dead in Kentucky, authorities are still trying to determine why he was killed.

On Thursday, Police caught a break when 61-year-old Marc Zortman made a stunning statement.

Sparkman's body, found hanging from a tree with "fed" scrawled on it, was apparently on the ground and graffiti-free when Marc saw it, 12 hours before Police arrived on the scene.
Zortman, who resides at Shady Hills Hospital due to an IQ of 90, was out on a weekly hike when he saw what looked like "one of them store-window people, you know?" Approaching cautiously so "I wouldn't miss any blue light specials," he was saddened to find a lifeless body and not a mannequin. Instead of reporting the death, Marc simply "hung up the body like a sticky note." He then claims he "wrote 'feed' on it, so somebody would give the poor fella a meal. I mean, he looked beat." The mis-spelling to "fed," coupled with the rope used to "post" Sparkman's body, disturbed valuable forensic evidence and led Police to conclude it was an anti-goverment hanging. But the FBI say there's not much they can do to Zortman given his IQ.

"Marc doesn't really understand death or dying, and he certainly can't check vitals" said Dr. Edward Klein, Zortman's physician. "He was probably just trying to help, like anyone would if they found a hungry cat or dog." Klein's explanation cleared Zortman of any wrongdoing, and the pair were back at the hospital in time for Marc's favorite TV show, Two and a Half Men.